Changes: Supernatural
by whYFeL
Summary: A series of drabbles for my current favourite show and boys. Rated T for the language, you know how Dean is.
1. I The Broken Glue

I. The Broken Glue

**Author's note:** _A series of a 100-word drabble to mark my first foray into the wonderful world of Supernatural, and naturally I begin with my personal favourite, Dean Winchester. Hope I didn't mess it too badly._

* * *

All his life, he'd clung to his family as his lifeline when the world around him crumbled. That accursed night had irrevocably sealed his loyalty to his remaining family – his version of normalcy.

Throughout the years, he'd faced anger, betrayal, hurt, abandonment, joy and heartbreak, all from the two people he loved most. Yet he held onto them, desperately trying to pull them together even as they tore him apart.

And now, with his Dad dead, his little brother back from the dead and himself on an expiry date, he often wondered when had he managed to royally screw up.


	2. II The Questions

II. The Questions

**Author's note:** _It's Sam Winchester's turn now. For some reason, he's a bit harder to write, so I had to cheat a little and make his a drabble-and-a-half. Cool or lame? You decide._

* * *

All his life, he'd questioned.

_Why isn't Mommy here? Where'd Daddy go at night? Why do we always have to move?_

As he got older, he learned some more, and his questions grew.

_How come we gotta hunt these creatures? What's the point in revenge? Why can't I be normal?_

Finally he couldn't take it anymore, and did the unthinkable – he'd left. For a chance to experience normal, he'd abandoned his father, and more importantly, his brother.

But it was cruelly snatched away from him and he did the only thing he could – he returned, with more questions and a burning need for revenge. He sought refuge in the life he'd once loathed and his brother's presence.

And now, with his Dad dead, his big brother counting his last breaths and himself back from the dead, new questions popped up.

_Am I really worth the sacrifice? Can I save him?_


	3. III Into the Future

III. Into the Future

* * *

"Hey, you ready yet?"

"Just a minute – I wanna look at this one more time."

"Dude, you could practically recite it from memory now. Why are you so nervous?"

"Wouldn't you be? I mean, this is—"

"Big, yeah, I know. Here, have some caffeine. It'll help."

"... wow. It does. Thanks."

"Anytime. So, are we set? My baby's waiting outside."

"I think so. Let's go. We're late already."

"Whoa, hey – your fly's open."

"Wha—oh shit. Dean!"

"Haha... got you again, Sammy."

"It's _Sam_. Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Can we _go_ already?"

"Sure Princess. After you."

"... no questions?"

"... No regrets."

"... Well. Here goes."

* * *

**Author's note:** _Haha... I had so much fun writing this, 'cause it's so easy to see this happening between them. What's the occasion, you ask? Well... let's just say that it's set in the future, and it involves something that will change their lives (in keeping with the theme). I'll let you fill in the blanks yourself._


	4. IV Words in Silence

IV. Words in Silence

**Author's note: **What exactly went through Dean's mind during those awful, silent months after losing his Mom and normal life…

* * *

_Mommy's gone._ He gazed forlornly at their half-burnt home from the Impala's hood with his Daddy and Sammy, still trying to come to grip with it all. 

_Bad fire took her._ That much he understood, but he couldn't share it with anyone, not with the pain still fresh, robbing him of words.

_Shh… don't cry Sammy._ He quietly stroked the baby's head, silencing his cries when Daddy's efforts to pacify him failed.

Months later, as he understood more about that night and things that go bump in the dark, he made a private vow. _I'm gonna fight fire with fire._


	5. V After Shock

V. After Shock

_**Author's note: **Apparently, Sam has a lot more to say, so another drabble-and-half for him. It's after the Shock which was the Pilot episode._

* * *

The first night, Dean quietly checked them into a motel as he followed wordlessly, still numb and in shock with emotions assailing him; letting Dean deal with everything and everyone. 

That night he didn't sleep, and Dean stayed up as well, his presence the only thing he could hold onto in his crumbling normalcy.

He couldn't recall much of her funeral – faces and condolences all jumbled together. He remembered apologising to her, then her grieving parents, with Dean behind, grim yet patient, solemn and understanding.

He stayed long after they left as he finally fell apart in Dean's firm, awkward hug.

They went to the apartment only once to pack whatever had survived: her few belongings went back to her family; his meagre possessions were stuffed into the same duffel bag last weekend.

The fifth night, Dean drove them out of his Fairy Tale and back into their Twilight Zone.


	6. VI Ogresized M&Ms

VI. Ogre-sized M&Ms

* * *

"Whoa, Sammy, check it out."

"Huh? Oh, this?"

"Ogre-sized M&Ms... Shrek?"

"Oh, must be promotion for the new Shrek movie."

"That cartoon fucked-up fairy tale movie? Heard kids go nuts over it."

"Not just kids, you know. Jess once dragged me to the first one, and there was this family who was watching it like for the fourth time, it's that crazy."

"Whatever. Though gotta admit, that Fiona chick kicks ass."

"So you admit to watching what's essentially a chick-flick movie."

"...Shut up. I'm taking 'em."

"...We still need to buy other stuff Dean."

"...Fine. Just five. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

* * *

**Author's note: **So, another one done. I absolutely love these little interludes between them. BTW, the Ogre-sized M&Ms taste the same like the ordinary ones, only they're bigger, and _green_. I'm pretty sure if Dean had his way, he'd get the industrial-sized packs for himself. Eheh. 


	7. VII Hidden Thoughts

VII. Hidden Thoughts

**Author's note: **Sam had left for Stanford. Dean let him – or so he'd thought.

* * *

The first weeks Sam left, Dean often woke in the nights – gasping quietly, heart hammering, _positive_ something was wrong. All he'd see in the darkness were a motel room in disarray and two occupied beds; all he'd hear were his Dad's soft snores and his own harsh breaths.

All he'd felt then were bitter resentment, hurt, worry – all towards Sammy.

In the mornings, however, such feelings would be shoved deep inside where none could pry it out. Sam had chosen, and he'd accepted it – or so he'd told himself; whatever he felt never mattered.

John knew better than to ask.


	8. VIII On College Life

VIII. On College Life

**Author's note: **An actual 100-word drabble for Sam, for once. Sam had left his family for Stanford and normal – but had he actually succeeded?

* * *

Sam's first weeks in Stanford were frantic – filling forms, finding his way around (he'd managed it better than most), buying books, determining his classes – the usual college stuff.

The two hardest things he'd had to do, however, were enduring those weeks without his family – especially _Dean _– and trying to fit into normal life.

He hadn't returned Dean's calls (he _knew_ he no longer deserved them); he'd reverently placed the sole picture of their family together at a corner in his dorm locker; he'd deliberately avoided stories of death in local news.

He kept his knife under his pillow at nights.


	9. IX The Flip

IX. The Flip

* * *

"...Christo."

"What the— dude, I'm _fine_."

"I don't believe you. You'd _never_ do _this_ to my baby."

"It's only a minor change, Dean. Why'd you get so worked up over it?"

"One, she's _mine_. Two, she's _still_ mine. 'Sides, it's gonna cost you before long."

"Not if we download 'em."

"I thought you'd prefer 'legal' stuff."

"Maybe I've been around you too long. And it's actually cheaper."

"I dunno if I made this clear Sam – Hell or no Hell, no way I'm allowing a CD player in _my_ car."

"...please, Dean? Just this, I promise."

"...shit. _Fine_, whatever."

_Smile_. "Thanks."

* * *

**Author's note: **This is After The Deal. Dean flips at any change to his Impala. However, he just can't seem to say 'no' to the Puppy Dog Eyes Attack from Sam. 


	10. X In Coming

X. In Coming

**Author's note: **Dean's first drabble-and-a-half (because he's just so adorable as a kid). Incoming second stork for the Winchester family.

* * *

First time Dean learned he would have a sibling, he'd asked, "How do Baby get into Mommy's tummy?"

John had spluttered, Mary had laughed, and he'd blinked innocently at their strange reactions.

The months leading to Baby's arrival seemed agonizingly slow. Sometimes he'd get frustrated, but Mommy's touch or Daddy's voice, or Baby's impatient kicks, got him back into the spirit. He would assert his authority and knowledge in every Baby-related issue, from nursery colour to crib design to car seat to names, to his parents' amusements. He'd pick out clothes and toys and books (some from his own collection), helped Mary prepare the entire neighbourhood and excitedly counted down the days with John.

When the Day (well, _After_noon) finally came, and anxious Big Brother was finally allowed to meet newborn Little Brother, their parents held their breaths. And released them in relief.

Dean was totally hooked at first sight.


	11. XI Changes, Constant

XI. Changes, Constant

**Author's note:** From Sammy to Sam, he'd always have that one human constant.

* * *

Every day of his everyday life, Dean was always there.

First day of Life. First crawl. The Fire. First wobbly step and word. First day of kindergarten, and later school. First time he knew The Secret and Big Bad Demons. First meeting with Dad's hunter friends. First crush, date and heartbreak. First serious talk about Birds and Bees (though _not_ the practical applications). His graduation – in every sense of the word.

Dean taught him his first letters and numbers, driving, self-defense and weapons. Even Stanford couldn't hold a match to that.

And no Demon can take Dean away from him.


	12. XII Question Number?

XII. Question Number..?

* * *

_Cough. Splutter._

"Dude, you okay?"

"...what the— You tryin' to _kill_ me?!"

"What? I'm just asking."

"You're making me lose my appetite here."

"But Dean... it _is_ a big possibility."

"...Maybe. But _not_ a cheery thought this early morning, y'know."

"Dean..."

"Alright, alright... Well, tell you the truth, I – don't really know. It's big, dude."

"You mean, as in life-changing, unexpected, _permanent_ big?"

"..."

"Sorry. Seriously though, what would you do if you found out?"

"...Freak out, most probably. I'm never gonna be a good Dad, Sam. And our lifestyle doesn't really leave much room to raising kids."

"...You're afraid of turning into Dad."

"He did the best he could Sam."

"I know, Dean. It just... Anyway, I think you'll make a great Dad. Look at me."

"...Well, apart from your geek-freak... I guess you turned out okay. Heh."

"Stop that."

"Haha... You're just too easy sometimes Sammy."

"It's _Sam_."

* * *

**Author's note:** A drabble-and-half, because it deserves it. An ode of sort to an upcoming episode in Season Three (airing on October), and because I've always wondered. It could work as a longer fic, but imagination can work wonders here too. 


	13. XIII First Drive

XIII. First Drive

**Author's note:** Read this in the comic's first issue, at CW's site. He was brave, but still a boy.

* * *

First time Dean ever drove on his own, he was nine, scared, and on a mission to protect his brother.

They were back in their motel room after a walk around the pool when their Dad suddenly burst in with a human-looking stranger hot on his heels. With a shouted command, the boy quickly grabbed Sammy and rushed out to the waiting Impala. He'd shakily started the car and drove as fast he'd dared to the designated area, killed the engine and huddled with Sammy under the back seat.

By the time John found them, Dean'd irrevocably found his calling.


	14. XIV Brittle Nerves

XIV. Brittle Nerves

**Author's note:** I re-watched the first few episodes of Season Two, and realised Sam had to drive back to the motel – alone – after he refused to join Dean and the bastard Gordon for their post-celebration drinks. And the next time he drove was some episodes after... So.

* * *

When Sam first drove alone after the accident, it took him a while just to insert the key into the ignition. His hands trembled so bad he seriously considered rejoining Dean and Gordon at the bar.

In the end, driving seemed the lesser of two evils.

He'd practically crawled back to the motel, the radio on full blast and his eyes darting everywhere. He was thankful he was on the main street, not the Interstate.

He wondered how long it'd take Dean to realize why he didn't drive, until now. His memories after the crash haunted him everytime he tried.


	15. XV Grievous Threat

XV. Grievous Threat

"Dean..."

"—and you just stared stupidly at the trash can like it was its fault you hit it!"

"_Stop_ it!"

"Aww Sammy, whatsa matter? Afraid of a little reminiscing?"

"By bringing up every single driving mishap I ever had? _That's_ your idea to kill time? ...No, don't answer."

"C'mon Sam, you gotta admit some of'em are pretty hilarious. 'Sides, with the radio down, this is the only way I can stay awake until we find a Goddamn motel."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's time we get a CD player installed, huh?"

"...You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"..._Fine_, I'll shut up."

"Thank you."

* * *

**Author's note: **Another 'car' story, this time it's some time Before The Deal. Like I said, apparently any change to the Impala does not sit well with Dean. He loves his 'baby' this close to obsession. Hence, it becomes the perfect blackmail object for Sam. :D


	16. XVI Remember

XVI. Remember

**Author's note:** _Old idea. Just thought I'd put my own little spin on it. Mostly from 'Home' and 'Houses of the Holy' episodes.

* * *

_

He couldn't remember much of his Mom, but what little he did, he'd clung to.

Like the smell of her hair in the mornings. Or her smile and voice greeting him as he stumbled into his parents' bedroom after waking up, still groggy and in need of a cuddle. The light in her eyes as she carried baby Sammy around the house. Her gentle, cheerful expression when she greeted Dad home from the garage.

Most of all, he remembered her last words to him as she tucked him in every night, including _that_ night.

_Remember, angels are watching over you._


	17. XVII Feelings

XVII. Feelings

**Author's note:** _He'd never even see her... how was he supposed to feel about it? From the 'Pilot' and 'Home' episodes._

_

* * *

_

He never really knew his mother – only what he'd seen in the few pictures they had, and what Dad and Dean were willing to share with him.

He didn't know what to think about it, now. Sure, in his youth he'd been confused, angry and dejected, blaming her inexistence for everything bad or worse that occurred within their family. All he'd ever felt towards her was the sense of filial duty of a son to a woman who'd never _lived_ in his life.

After 22 years, he finally got to meet her. For the first time, he loved his Mom.


	18. XVIII Away From Home Again

XVIII. Away From Home Again

* * *

"...she's really beautiful."

"...yeah..."

"...Missouri... She said, mom's energy and the poltergeist's cancelled each other out. She—she sacrificed herself, Dean."

"...That what she said?"

"...yeah. Mom died again... for me."

"..."

"...I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For all the bad things I ever said about her. For not loving her the way you and Dad do. For – taking her away from you both."

"Sam... I've told you, none of that was ever your fault. You were a baby when it all happened. How many times am I gonna repeat myself?"

"But she died in _my_ room that night – and I know how much you still miss her."

"Sammy..."

"Please Dean, just this once – tell me what you're really feeling right now."

"..."

"...Dean?"

"...Yeah, I do miss Mom. But I'm glad too, you finally get to meet her. At least... you know how special she is."

"...Thanks, Dean."

"Yeah... sure."

* * *

**Author's note: **_Pretty sombre, this one. Another drabble-and-half, still about their Mom. I hope this do them justice._


	19. XIX Revelation

XIX. Revelation

**Author's note:_ He'd been selfish, once. And he's doing it again, because he's the perfect little soldier._**

**_Standard Disclaimer applies, as usual._**

* * *

"_This is what you're gonna become!"_

He knew that was one nightmare he'd never escape – probably for the rest of his short, miserable life.

All his life, he'd been raised with Dad's mantras.

'_Watch_ _out for Sammy.'_

'_Hunt evil, save the innocents.'_

'_Hunting is our life.' _

All along, he'd followed without question, without protest – becoming Dad's perfect little soldier – his only way to gain Dad's acknowledgement and pride (_love_).

Now, after all his sacrifices, all he'd endured, his 'blind faith' – he's going to be the very thing he hunts… all because he'd been exactly what his father had groomed him.

His demon-self had forced him to admit his pain and rage (_hate?_) towards the one man he'd looked up to, and to realize that it's okay, for once, to be selfish. Because how else would he continue to do what he'd been taught to do?

He deserves better than Hell.


	20. XX Resolution

XX. Resolution.

**Author's note: _Something's changed... and he'll do whatever it takes to live up to the change._**

* * *

Something's changed.

He didn't know what, exactly.

But he _knew_, as they woke up in the car, that something big just occurred – to Dean, in the dreamscape. He also knew whatever it was, was something he wouldn't be privy to. Even after everything, emotions and personal thoughts weren't things Dean would easily divulge without further prompting.

Even his anger and disbelief at Bela's audacity didn't dampen that knowledge.

Then in the car, Dean dropped it.

"I don't wanna die – I don't want to go to Hell."

He wouldn't wonder _why_ – Dean's counting on him now. He will not fail Dean.


	21. XXI Re Animation

XXI. Re-animation

* * *

"Hey, remember that puppy you liked so much – we used to go pet it after school, right?"

"The one that got hit by the car?"

"Yeah… you cried the whole night. Then you started asking me where do puppies go after they die."

"Heh… pretty much annoyed you with it everytime."

"Damn straight. Lucky I found that book in the library. Figured that would shut you up."

Chuckle. "I remember you reading it to me that night. Can't believe I actually fell for it."

"Gotta admit, the candy-clouds sure looked awesome…"

"Yeah…"

"…think that's really where we'll end up?"

"…probably not."

"…Mom woulda loved it though."

"…yeah. Jess too."

"And Dad… he'd be laughing with Mom, pestering you and Jess for a gazillion grandkids…"

"…what about you, Dean?"

"Hey, if there's free food and pretty angels around, I'm good."

"And the car."

Smirk. "Of course. Can't leave her behind."

"…Cheers."

* * *

**Author's note: _A rare night under the stars, with only themselves, the Impala, and a couple of six-packs for company. Perfect time for contemplation of life and the hereafter._**


	22. XXII What Wasn't Meant to Be

XXII. What Wasn't Meant To Be

**Author's note: _His dreams are of things that should have never been._**

* * *

It was his wish came true.

There she stood in front of him – older certainly, but still as beautiful as he remembered. He had to ask, had to make sure… and her answer assured him, convinced him that he's finally lived out his fantasy. Being able to talk to her, touch her, smell her, celebrating her birthday as a family… experiencing her love again made him feel like he was dreaming…

Until he figured out she was just that – a dream.

And his Sam was alone, without _him_.

And so, he made another sacrifice, and it left another hole inside.


	23. XXIII Misery Stops

XXIII. Misery Stops

**Author's note: _It was like a never-ending ride to Hell - lots of stops, but none he could get off at._**

* * *

It was his worst nightmares realized.

Dean's first death shook him; so was the second. By the hundredth time, he was becoming unraveled by his inability to prevent each occurrence, even with his foreknowledge.

When he finally figured it out and confronted the culprit, he thought all was well… but everything was just beginning.

This time, he didn't get back, Dean didn't wake up – and time lost all meaning.

Months – _an eternity_ – later, his bane returned, and after mush persuasion, became his saviour.

He savoured the relief, the certainty, of what he'd regained. To lose it again wasn't an option.


	24. XXIV A Little Dream of Her

XXIV. A Little Dream of Her

* * *

"Dude, _seriously_?!"

"Shut up, Dean."

"But Sammy… it's– it's—"

"Will you _stop_?"

"It's _her, _dude! It's, like… blasphemy!"

"It's not like I deliberately planned it Dean."

"That's not the point, Sam. So you have needs, I get that. And you're under stress lately. But… with her, of all people?!"

"It was a _dream_, for God's sake! Why are you so upset?"

"Because! …and, well– (_**mumble**_)…"

"What?"

"…I said – sheaskedmetosleepwithherfirst."

"_...What?!"_

"You heard me."

"…so, you're basically _jealous_ of a dream?"

"…shut up."

"…I can't believe it…"

"…"

"…You do realize that technically, I got first dibs on her."

"Sam!"

* * *

**Author's note: _Something light to lessen the 'Cloud of Doom' hanging over the brothers (and fans) lately. Typical male argument, I suppose. Way into the future, if such a thing is possible with Kripke and co. around._**


End file.
